‘And how do you intend to enter Smaug’s chambers? Through the front gate? As a house guest? You would be ashes before you took your seventh step.’
Several weeks ago I was presented with an interesting and quite unexpected situation while playing Angband.
I had at the time started to play a Druid class character, in part because I was intrigued to see how the class would play in Angband and also to take a small break from a Priest character I had been leveling for the past month or so. Now, playing the Priest took place during a break from playing my Ranger and, playing the Ranger took place during an even longer break from playing my ‘iron man’ Warrior character and, is a story for another post. I am currently on a break from the Druid and playing a Paladin which is a break from a Mage but, this story concerns the Druid. So many breaks and yet, always playing.
The Druid had been (still is) a learning experience in the application of cautionary movements and selective engagements. Though I relied heavily on spell casting they weren’t abundantly offensive or overly powerful. Ranged weapons helped little and melee was an act of desperation most times. I was just starting to get a feel for the classes subtle control and wary exploration type of play when the adventure presented itself. I didn’t recognize it initially, I think I was a bit stunned by what I was looking at. I laughed and pshawed out loud for certain. I stared at the screen for 10 or so minutes trying to figure out some way to salvage the level. I wasn’t sure the Druid had enough ass in his pants to tear into the mess I was looking at, not like the Priest anyhow. So I continued to look at the screen.
I was ready to call it quits, ‘shift <‘ and head back up the stairs, reset the level and return when, I recognized what it was I was looking at, something familiar, and thought…maybe?
Here, before me was the chance to burgle from the ‘Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities’…Smaug!
And I was going to do it Bilbo style!
Well, I was gonna attempt to rip the old wyrm off and run away…at the very least.
This week I mark 2 years of sobriety and the last of the small dates to note it.
After this there are only the large dates at 5 years, 10 years, 20 years and finally 40.
I wasn’t sure if quitting would take or not and honestly I was concerned that I couldn’t. I had no idea what the extent of my addiction was or if I would need to seek outside help to quit, which would never have happened. I had managed to quite tobacco years before, that was brutal, so I wasn’t sure what getting off the booze would look like. I just felt, deep down, that I needed to quit.
Anyway, for me it began after a particularly rough night of excess. I wouldn’t call it ‘hitting rock bottom’, just another random week night of too much cheap vodka from a plastic bottle. The early morning commute in traffic to work the next day with a raging hangover, the recovery during the day in a dingy beige cubicle lit in cold fluorescent light and an even longer commute home in more traffic was my tipping point. I started that night.
I set small goals and kept adding to them. I told myself that if I could do 1 day without drink, then I could probably do 2 days.
And if I could do 2 days, I certainly could do 3.
If I could do 3 days, I could make the effort to do a week.
1 week then 2.
2 weeks then a month. This was a big one and I felt that at this point the real hard part was over for me.
1 month turned into 3 months.
3 months turned to 6.
6 months, a year. This felt like an accomplishment.
Last year, the covid year of job loss, home loss, moving, lifestyle upheaval and so many other things offered many excuses to get off the wagon, to say ‘Fuck it!’ and tip up a bottle again. But it didn’t happen. And this week is now 2 years.
I’ve been playing Angband since November-ish of 2020, not my first go around with the game but definitely the longest serious stretch of play. It has captured my attention.
Recently a very interesting situation presented itself in game, a unique and unexpected encounter that I’m chomping at the bit to get into and will post later. Before I get into those upcoming posts I feel I need to give a very brief, bare bones description of the game to maybe pique your interest and look into it for yourself.
If you’re not familiar with Angband it’s not your fault. We play in a world drowning in games and Angband is an OLD GAME, built on a OLDER GAME, inspired by a SLIGHTLY OLDER GAME which places us somewhere around 1980.
It’s a dungeon crawler based on Tolkien’s legendarium but it feels like old school D&D to me…imho.
In short, the game is:
‘Angband is a roguelike game set in a high-fantasy universe. The game world is made up of levels, numbered from zero (“the town”) to some maximum depth. Levels are increasingly dangerous the deeper they are into the dungeon. Levels are filled with monsters, traps, and objects. Monsters move and act on their own, traps react to creatures entering their square, and objects are inert unless used by a creature. The objective of the game is to find Morgoth at depth 100 and kill him.’
The Angband Manual
Angband Is Low Tech No big tits, big pecs characters with unique glowing armor sets. No community gathering place to show off your rare epic mount.
Just you (@), the drooling village idiot (t) and your little home (8) in an ASCII world. There are options to play with very basic tile set graphics but I perfer ASCII.
Angband Is The Devil In The Detail This game may seem simple but it’s more complicated and difficult then you may expect.
You will need to manage the limited resources you carry, watch your encumbrance, eat, and maintain a light source. All those pesky little details that have been removed from so many modern games are in play here and may kill you if you’re not careful.
In contrast, I had a character in WoW with a quiver that held 28,000 arrows and as unbelievable as that was, those arrows also weighed nothing. What’s the point in keeping count at all? Arrows in Angband take up space, have weight and they break…often.
Angband Is Unforgiving It’s a difficult game that punishes stupidity and mistakes. Don’t believe me? Roll up a Human Mage as your first character and see how far you get. This poor bastard didn’t even make it to the dungeon, killed in town, level 0…there’s 100+ levels to this game. May as well have died during character creation ala Traveller.
And while were looking at this gravestone keep this in mind when playing. When your character dies, it’s dead. No re-spawn points, no resurrection, no do-overs…just dead.
Permadeath abides.
Angband Is Imagination Heavy. A player must engage with this environment, especially when playing in ASCII.
Imagine that this: ‘S‘
Is actually this:
Lazy Lob, Attercop!
Or this: ‘j‘
Equals this:
And this: ‘D‘…
Well, here there be dragons!
I suppose it’s no wonder that this and others games of similar ilk (Dwarf Fortress) mostly go unnoticed in the world or are, in general, ‘unknown’. They’re too hard, require too much thinking and reward you with…text?
But I was promised unique, oversized spaulder skins!!!
This game will challenge you.
You will yell.
You will die…repeatedly.
It may be the most skillful bit of gaming of your life.
I invite you to explore the game on your terms and make your own opinions.
‘In the long litany of sword-wielding mass murderers that populate the pages of a thousand lesser fantasy novels, Elric of Melniboné is far and away the coolest, grimmest, moodiest, most elegant, degenerate, drug-addicted, cursed, twisted and emotionally weird mass murderer of them all.’
I like the description and don’t find this article odd at all.
*eyebrow raised
The Elric Saga: Stories I’ve once started, never finished and continually remind myself to revisit…at some point.
I was hot on reading them some time ago and did manage to finish, mostly, Book 1. And not unlike ‘The Stars My Destination’ I ended up feeling I missed something, not understanding the praise placed upon this series or the idea of the Eternal Champion.
I feel that the last couple of years have brought on a new found sense of purpose and maturity into my life, a broader state of mind in understanding.
Certainly this is age related but also I feel an expansion of consciousness is at work as well. Nothing profound, just a bit more grace in my thinking.With this has come a re-reading or first time reading of many many books, I feel that I’m final ‘ready’ to digest those ideas properly.
Watch out Delany, I’m coming for you.
So Elric…
I’ve been jonesing to read the saga lately and, of course, I did not bring the books on our trip here. This isn’t the first time I’ve wanted to read them and simply did not have the books to read. At some point in the past I collected up a complete set determined to be ready for the next time Elric beckoned. Well wouldn’t you know, that urge to read them is here again and alas my tomes are locked away upon a mountain side.
*sigh
This urge is always brought on when I hear one of two songs that were inspired by Elric, both of which have been mercilessly earworming their way through my head this week.
It was a couple of years back that I discovered to my surprise that two legendary bands had ties to Elric. There are others but I’m just going to mention two of them here, they’re the ones I listen to on a regular basis.
Both quite good in my opinion.
And though not a substitute for the books they’ll have to tide me over until I’m reacquainted with my stash.
Deep Purple ‘Perfect Strangers’ Perfect Strangers 1984
Crunchy organ intro by the late Jon Lord sets the tone for this lament to Morcock’s doomed hero.
Masterful lyrics credited to Gillan, Blackmore and Glover but I have a feeling most of it was driven by Blackmore’s influence.
Gillan’s wizened voice commands mournfully strung lyrics like: ‘I know I must remain inside this silent well of sorrow’.
There is a wonderful layer of mystery to this song and I can imagine someone not knowing of Elric and later discovering it was inspired by a book would be compelled to seek it out to read.
The Perfect Strangers single was released with the B side, ‘Son of Alerik’. A smokey atmospheric instrumental to get lost in, featuring Blackmore and Lord. I think this would pair well with an Elric read..give it a go.
Also, check out Blackmore’s Night…if you’re so inclined.
Jon Lord…\m/
Bardic Blackmore
Perfect Strangers
Can you remember, remember my name As I flow through your life A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold, cold spirits of ice All my life I am the echo of your past
I am returning the echo of a point in time And distant faces shine A thousand warriors I have known
And laughing as the spirits appear All your life Shadows of another day
And if you hear me talking on the wind You’ve got to understand We must remain perfect strangers
I know I must remain inside this silent well of sorrow
A strand of silver hanging through the sky Touching more than you see The voice of ages in your mind, oh-oh-oh
Is aching with the dead of the night Oh, oh, oh, precious life Your tears are lost in falling rain
And if you hear me talking on the wind You’ve got to understand We must remain perfect strangers
Blue Oyster Cult ‘Black Blade’ Cultösaurus Erectus 1980
I associate BOC with the song ‘Veteran of the Psychic Wars’ which I first listened to on the ‘Heavy Metal’ soundtrack sometime in the 80’s. I played those albums over and over and over and over. So much so that I eventually started having weird dreams with Psychic Wars as the background music. I was haunted by the pounding drums, eerie synth, hopeless lyrics and ended up not being able to listen to it for a long time as it always produced dark, depressing thoughts and imagery in my head. I suppose that’s precisely the intent of any successful anti-war song or writing.
I’ve never been a huge BOC fan, especially considering ‘that one song with the cowbell’ that everybody knows being what they’re best ‘known’ for but, after listening to ‘Black Blade’ I’ve been more inclined to spend time with the band.
Black Blade is a type of song I love; one that conveys a compelling story without being overly obscure, artsy fartsy or require a masters degree in literature to understand. That said however, I’m not suggesting it’s simple either. I find it to be quite clever and the perspectives it takes are compelling. It sings of The Black Blade and the poor sod wielding it or it of the wielding poor sod and like ‘Perfect Strangers’ I feel that one would be eager to find the source of the lyrics after listening to them.
But the coolest part about this song, aside from the skill and musicianship that I cannot properly convey in any meaningful or intelligent way other than to say ‘It’s cool, I like it!’ is that Moorcock wrote/co-wrote the lyrics…’nuff said.
And as it turns out, Moorcock also wrote/co-wrote the lyrics to ‘Veteran of the Psychic Wars’…hmmm.
Veteran harkens back to the band ‘Hawkwind’ (post Lemmy) and their Eternal Champion inspired album ‘Warriors on the Edge of Time’, which Moorcock also help write…double hmmm, hmmm.
And while we’re talking about Hawkwind, check out the album ‘The Chronicle of the Black Sword”‘ another Elric inspired album with a small assit from Moorcock on one song. I like this album as well.
Black Blade
I have this feeling that my luck is none too good This sword here at my side don’t act the way it should Keeps calling me its master, but I feel like its slave Hauling me faster and faster to an early, early grave
And it howls! It howls like hell!
I’m told it’s my duty to fight against the law That wizardry’s my trade and I was born to wade through gore I just want to be a lover, not a red-eyed screaming ghoul I wish it’d picked another to be its killing tool
Black Blade, Black Blade Forged a billion years ago Black Blade, Black Blade Killing so its power can grow (grow, grow, grow, grow…)
It’s death from the beginning to the end of time And I’m the cosmic champion and I hold a mystic sign And the whole world’s dying and the burden’s mine And the black sword keeps on killing ’til the end of time
Black Blade, Black Blade Bringing chaos to the world we know Black Blade, Black Blade And it’s using me to kill my friends Black Blade, Black Blade Getting stronger so the world will end Black Blade, Black Blade Forcing my mind to bend and bend
I am the Black Blade Forged a million billion years ago My cosmic cycles are for eternity Carving out destiny Bringing in the Lords of Chaos Bringing up the Beasts of Hades Sucking out the souls of heroes Laying waste to knights and ladies My master is my slave You poor fucking humans
My first read of ‘The Stars My Destination’ was a several years back and, it didn’t take. I had forced myself to continue reading it, begrudgingly, and by the time I had finished I was at a loss. I felt as if I had missed the things that so many others said made this a great piece of sci-fi. I didn’t get it. I was frustrated.
Sometime later I would read ‘The Demolished Man’. Though I tracked a little better through Bester’s writing, there was still some dissonance between his word craft and my ability to visualize the story. I simply concluded that I struggled with Bester and left it at that.
Bested by Bester.
During the first part of 2020 just as Covid was ramping up, we went to Albuquerque to do a book fair. This was March and things were just becoming tweaky with travel and events, ultimately the fair was cancelled because of it…an hour after we arrived in town.
Poor Little Book Fair Sign :/
Either on the way there or back, probably both, we listened to the audio book of Neil Gaiman’s ‘The View From The Cheap Seats’ read by Gaiman. In his words the books is, in part “…a motley bunch of speeches and articles, introductions and essays.” It’s quite excellent and I very much recommend it, especially the audio book.
In it Gaiman has included his introduction to the 1999 Science Fiction Masterworks edition of ‘The Stars My Destination’. After listening to it I warmed up to the idea of giving the story another read…at some point. Gaiman reading Gaiman is a compelling listen.
FF>> a few months.
I grabbed ‘The Stars My Destination’ almost as an after thought as we were packing to leave Colorado…forever? There were so many books I could have grabbed but when it showed up in a box I was sorting I grabbed it thinking maybe now? I’m certain that decision was based entirely on Gaiman’s introduction.
The other day, having finished Aldiss’s ‘Starship’ I went for another book to read and pulled ‘TSMD’ from the middle of a small stack. I flipped the book to a page, Foyle’s Merchant Marine record stared back at me.
(PERSONNEL COMMENTS) A man of physical strength and intellectual potential stunted by lack of ambition. Energises at minimum. The stereotype Common Man. Some unexpected shock might possibly awaken him, but Psych cannot find the key. Not recommended for promotion. Has reached dead end.
Something in that statement resonated with me, something familiar…something fatalistic.
And just like that I had begun ‘The Stars My Destination’ once again.
I am however taking to heart a couple things from Gaiman’s introduction. The first, a play on Heraclitus:
“You can no more read the same book again then you can step into the same river.”
The second, a word of warning:
“The vintage of the book demands more work from the reader than he or she is used to.”
Indeed.
So, what shall it be for Bester and me: “Death’s my destination” or “The stars my destination” ?
